Image transcription:
Computer science terms that sound like fantasy RPG abilities
I’ll start:
- Firewall
- Virtual Memory
- Single source of truth
- Lossless Compression (this one sounds really powerful for some reason)
Your turn
Hard mode: Try not to include closer to domain-specific things like javascript library names
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spawn daemon
Ethernet
Force Merge
kill all children
reap children
The Bard I played with last campaign did that by casting gravity well next to the exterior wall of an orphanage. He succeeded with your spell.
I see you play Star Wars ttrpg
Disconnect Peripheral: Removes someone’s limb.
Critical Vulnerability: Increases critical hit rate.
Memory buffer: Allows you yo remember things better.
Reroot tree: Tree digs itself out of the ground, walks to another location and takes root, as if it’s always been there.
Heap sort: More advanced technique for which Reroot tree is a prerequisite for some reason. Arranges assortments of things into neat piles with only one kind of object per pile. Very useful when looking for things in treasure chambers.
“I cast heap sort on the owlbear.”
“…”
“The owlbear is sorted into neat piles, the first containing hair/nails/claws/beaks, the second feathers, the third bone, the fourth meat, the fifth blood…”
Scroll lock. To protect your scrolls.
Or prevent an opposing caster from using one or more scrolls
Think that’s that wizards get when they’re having trouble studying.
There’s an infamous tech support tale dating back to the Windows 95 days of a very religious lady who wanted all of the wizards removed from her computer. Similar for an individual who absolutely did not want any mice around their computer
Happy cake day!
Huh, no shit! It’s been a year already.
I think that means I’m getting old.
Boot Loop - ties someone’s shoelaces together
Boot Loops, when you can’t afford Fruit Loops.
I could actually see this being a cantrip for a bard or arcane trickster. It’s almost innocent in its mischief but would be a worthwhile hindrance on the battlefield.
For shoes without laces and creatures without shoes it could simply loop magical string around them.
Prob just a cut to movement with a dex save at the start of every move (like once per turn but they can avoid it by choosing not to move). Doesn’t need to be a high save, but if they fail, they trip.
Since it’s a cantrip they can remove the string with an action, and they last a number of turns equal to caster level.
I’d also love to see a DM be creative with how much it effects certain creatures. Centipede? Probably a little pissed but not too hindered by stumbling on one pair of legs. 1 legged Pete? Completely unaffected as he jumps at you with his 1 leg.
Polymorphism
The orc becomes a pile of gelatin, quivering, you now must choose what it will become.
Roll for…
… seduction
You roll a 1.
This causes an unauthorized access exception and a giant bouncer rapidly approaches, screaming in fury.
I love your username
Encapsulation kinda sounds like it could be a spell too. That’s 2/3 pillars of OOP.
The last one was atomization, right? Gets a bit out of fantasy, but can definitely sound magical
I cast atomization on the giant. (9th level warlock spell)
On a failed save the targets head evaporates killing them outright.
On a success roll a d4 (or higher for higher number of limbs) and the limb clockwise from the head evaporates. Dealing either 25% or 150HP which ever is higher damage.
LUT - A table appears 10ft above your target and falls on it dealing 1d6 bludgeoning.
“LOOK! UP! TABLE!”
By pure coincidence it’s also the sounds it makes when dropping on you
Beautiful! It’s also a bonus action reaction cantrip.
Power word: Infinite Recursion
World wide web would be an OP spell
A crack forms below you… and suddenly a tunnel collapses inward beneath your feet.
After a short while your fall is arrested. You are now snagged in a web, in the dim light lit from where you fell you can see this web goes on, all around you, seemingly forever.
- 28k modem connection sounds *
Heartbleed
a list of named vulnerabilities would be a great starter
I cast CVE-2014-0160… at the darkness
I cast CVE-2015-0565 at the goblin horde.
I had a bit too much fun with these :)
Magical Items
- The Bandwidth Cap
Cursed item that limits the magical power of it’s wearer - The Token Ring
Magical ring that allows the wielder to communicate over large distances. They can receive messages from one token ring and send message to another. - The Memory Barrier
Protective charm that shields the mind from intrusion. - The Shadow Register
A magical ledger that records secrets and hidden locations in the immediate area. - The Superscalar
A legendary shimmering sword that can strike multiple foes in a single attack.
Spells
- Loopback
Redirects a spell to its point of origin. - Jabber
Causes the target to produce incoherent speech and lose its train of thought. - Branch Prediction
Gives the caster foresight to predict their opponent’s next action. - Traceroute
A tracking spell that reveals the path of a target. - Mask
Hides the caster’s true identity. - Hypertransport
Enables instantaneous movement over short distances. - Interrupt
Counterspell to disrupt an enemy’s casting.
Spell modifiers
- Broadcast
Modifies spell to affect a large area. - Unicast
Modifies spell to affect a single point with maximum damage. - Multicast
Modfies spell to affect multiple selected targets. - Repeater
Modifies spell to recast itself over multiple turns.
Transmission Control Protocol - Modifies teleportation and summoning to be very specific.
Universal Datagram Protocol - see “Shout”
UDP - See “shout”
I give you credit, not much causes me to actually laugh out loud… like a good, hearty belly laugh. This did, thank you for that.
- The Bandwidth Cap
