Oh god oh fuck they have human tools

Ah, good ol’ MEMRI. Mossad’s funniest racist propaganda outlet.

Good.

any wider and she’d fit right in with the cast of Hidamari Sketch

Mystery? What mystery? Polonium keeps the samovar hot, everyone knows this. They were energy conscious patriots trying something new so the boys on the frontline could keep themselves warm using the wood and coal that otherwise would have burnt to warm their tea. Patriarch bless these fine folks who died in the pursuit of keeping our selfless heroes cozy in the trenches.

Yes, they are. Source: scientific consensus.

Consider the following phylogeny of the primates: If we choose to exclude all non-simian primates from monkeyhood, you still cannot create a scientifically valid monophyletic grouping of monkeys that doesn’t include the apes (hominoidae) without excluding the new world monkeys (platyrrhini). This is because the two main groups of monkeys, the platyrrhini and the catarrhini, split before the catarrhine simians split between the tailless old world monkeys (hominoidae) and the tailed old world monkeys (cercopithecoidae). If you told any primatologist, any biologist in general, any person on the street even, that howler monkeys and spider monkeys are not actually monkeys, you would rightly face raucous laughter and bemused derision. At this point, we have to address the elephant in the room that is the arbitrary delineation between monkey and ape based on tailedness. If we are to divide the apes from the monkeys solely on the basis of appearance, then why not cleave the hyraxes from their elephant and manatee cousins and graft them onto the rodents they so closely resemble? Why not call tuataras lizards while denying snakes the same title? Why not just call dolphins a kind of shark, since they’re both sharkish in shape and lack the scales of other fish? Why not just say birds aren’t dinosaurs because they don’t look like a brontosaurus? Because it’s unscientific derangement, that’s why. Paraphyletic groupings based on arbitrary physical markers is as against scientific consensus as it gets.

I AM THE STORM THAT IS APPROOOACHING

holy shit, it’s morter from rick and morter

Cladistically speaking, apes are in fact monkeys. Tail or no, you cannot create a phylogeny which includes all monkeys while excluding apes.

I’m sorry carnotaurus lovers, no hate to the OG, but this is abelisaurid perfection, nothing comes close to this top-of-the-heap homegrown theropod from the cultural center of earth, Madagascar. Nothing can match them. You know why Majungasaurus was a cannibal? Because no other animal comes close to being this good. There’s a reason the KT extinction event happened right after this guy disappeared; God himself, in the heavens, realized nothing could possibly evolve to be better than Majungasaurus, it doesn’t get better than this, so might as well pull the plug and save us all the effort.

here comes another chinese earthquake

Can we follow that logic to assume they had Who vikings, going around Whourope Seussically pillaging Whonasteries and Whollages and whimsically blood eagling Who peasants?

RED AND BLACK I DRESS

wegh

based Gaddafi, at it again with the most asinine and inflammatory takes

eyy nice, enjoy settin up the goblins for the little wizard guys to smack, I know I do