I don’t believe in hell, but if I did Reagan would be enjoying a golden shower there for the rest of eternity.

Congratulations to South Carolina on being the first state to elect two gay Senators.

xkcd still has the best approach to this; four random common words

This… doesn’t seem like it would work - “Senator blahdeblah voted for 300 military promotions and also abortions are bad and for some complicated reason we can’t explain in a 30-second clip those two things have something to do with each other, so anyway please vote for me, a sentient pair of truck nuts, instead”

I love how everybody is so busy about mining your behavior for ad tracking data and then like 2/3 of the ads I actually see are utterly irrelevant gut doctor / toenail fungus / 17 Most Embarrassing Topless Celebrity Moments crap.

(I think the reality is that they’re mining that data to identify a small number of people susceptible to high-value scams - like getting addicted to an F2P mobile game and spending $1000s on it - and the rest of us just get generic infill)

Can I get a ‘fuck spez’

Sure, but nevertheless they’re burning a lot more coal than they would be if they hadn’t pointlessly shut down their nuclear plants.

“We were able to grow enough soybeans to replace half of the whale meat we were eating, but we can’t replace the other half yet because even though we have plenty of lentils, we hate lentils and don’t want to eat them anymore”

Nuclear output 12.2021: 5599.8 GWh
Brown coal output 8.2023: 5422.0 GWh
Black coal output 8.2023: 2049.2 GWh

So if you, y’know, hadn’t shut down those nuclear plants, you’d be burning 1/4 as much coal as you actually are.

Germany of course is the country that recently shut down a bunch of nuclear plants + temporarily (we hope) replaced them with coal.

I mean it’s kind of his fault for having a favorite son who looks like Sean Bean.

My “Not Haunted” T-shirt has people asking a lot of questions already answered by the shirt

Gee, I wonder if the cost might go down if we built more of them, as is the case with, y’know, basically every other complicated thing that humans build.

But building new plants uses a shit ton of concrete. So we’re paying the carbon cost up front, and it can take years or even decades to break even.

That’s not remotely on the same scale, carbon-wise. Global output is like 4 billion tons of concrete per year, a nuclear plant uses like 12 tons per megawatt; an all-in nuclear buildout would use a tiny, tiny fraction of global concrete production and the carbon costs aren’t even remotely equivalent.

(also, wind power uses way, way more concrete)

Dax was 6 feet tall?

Worth noting that this was not a great leap - the judge didn’t rule anything particularly interesting about trans rights, he simply said that freedom of association means you can’t go to court to force a private organization to exclude someone.

This is good advice; I suspect they’re outside of the FBI’s jurisdiction, but they could also be random idiots, in which case they’re random idiots who are about to become registered sex offenders.

The only problem with this joke is that it’s impossible that Siri would ever be that clever.

He was also a badass pilot:

Although he was never actually a member of the Royal Canadian Air Force, Doohan was once labelled the “craziest pilot in the Canadian Air Force”. In the late spring of 1945, on Salisbury Plain north of RAF Andover, he slalomed a plane between telegraph poles “to prove it could be done”, earning himself a serious reprimand. (Various accounts cite the plane as a Hurricane or a jet trainer; however, it was an Auster Mark IV.)

Suddenly, there is a deafeningly loud crackle of lighting in front of me, causing me to nearly fall out of my seat as I let out a cry of surprise. Floating some two or three feet above the sidewalk is a black and blue seam of electricity, a hovering slit in the fabric of space and time that pours outward with a sizzling heat.

“Alex!” calls a voice from beyond the strange universal rift. I can barely make out the figures shape, but it appears to be a massive, sentient coin; one pound to be exact.

“Hello?” I question, shielding my eyes from the electrical storm that appears to be occurring right before me. “Who are you?”

“There’s no time!” yells the giant coin from the other side of the rift. “Come with me!”

I’m utterly horrified and, if I’m going to be honest, my first instinct is to immediately turn around and run away. It’s only then that I notice something brilliant and burning through the hole in space-time. Within the rift I can see The Parliament, or what used to be The Parliament, as the entire building roars with a towering flame.

“Is that what it looks like?” I call out.

“Yes!” screams the giant sentient coin. “We need your help, Alex. I can’t hold this open much longer!”

Suddenly, all of the fear leaves and is replaced with a powerful, frantic energy. Britain needs me!

Without another thought, I jump up from the bench and run forward, diving through the trans universal slice and ending up carried to a hellish landscape of fire and smoke on the other side.

“Where am I?” I ask this mysterious pound. “What’s happening?”

“You’re in the future,” explains the giant sentient monetary instrument, “but it’s not safe here. Follow me!”

Hah, if this happened nowadays you’d have to sign up for a $1000/month subscription for 100 words a month on a 5-year contract, pay a $35/word overage fee, and if you didn’t use all 100 words in a particular month, you could pay $5/word to roll over up to 10 of them to the next month. And if you try to cancel your subscription after those 5 years, they put you on hold for 3 hours and then accidentally hang up on you.