This made me realize, talking to people is like forcefully inserting you thoughts into their brain without their consent. People should just stop talking in general IMO.
Hello
Username absolutely does not check out.
I also dislike the “hey how are you?”. I understand they want to be friendly, but it only adds another step in the conversational exchange.
“Hey how are you?”
“I’m fine. You?”
“All good”
“Cool”
“[the actual request]”
I think it’s fine, if done with the nohello approach:
Hey , how are you/had a nice weekend? I could use some help with ticket #12345 as I need to do … and don’t know how to do …
But otherwise - yeah, you’re now right at the end of my to do list.
That’s the way it should be done
Same here too, so I just cut to the chase as soon as I answer.
“I’m doing fine, how can I help?”
56k noises
People actually do this!?
Yeah, I thinks it’s partly a cultural thing. I’ve seen more indian colleagues do this than anyone else.
It’s definitely more common with my Indian colleagues.
Answers “yes” and does not elaborate further
Hey, are you there?
That instantly triggers a delay till after the top of the hour for me.
Hello
You there?
I’ve dealt with a few of those at work. Super annoying and just wastes everybody’s time.
My boss does this all the time. It’s incredibly annoying.
Oh, they do…
There’s also https://onlyhello.net/
And I think I recalled “hello considered harmful” and meta stuff like “considered harmful considered harmful”. Or were those on intranet?
Well, I usually take my time to reply. It’s not my fault, when people then need to wait until they cut to the chase. That doesn’t bother me. It’s their problem.
A great one alongside https://dontasktoask.com/
When people at work have this as their status I just randomly say hello to them. When they get mad I tell them I just I wanted to say hi.
Damn, talk about antisocial and weird.
What if I just want to say hi to start a conversation, and I don’t have some ulterior motive? Or perhaps I’m waiting to gauge the other person’s mood or something else before asking them something?
What a weird, weird thing for this person to get a stick up their arse about. I’m sure they’re really fun to talk to :-/
It’s a written message, not a conversation. State what you want clearly, don’t force other prople to ask you what you want.